Every Breath We Drew Was Hallelujah
by RebeccaEmilyWeasley
Summary: Hopefully this will become a 19 years later story, i'm hoping to fill these years - my way.  Often i read over the last chapter of Rowling's genius works and i think, there is so much left unexplained, so many loose ends need tied up, this is my attempt.
1. Chapter One

Just to let you know, the title of my story is part of line from Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah.  
>and of course, all characters mentioned in this chapter are J.'s :-)<p>

Hey, I hope you all enjoy. I don't know it this will ever become a full length story, or whether this is any good, but anyway, thanks for reading.  
><em>Becca<em>

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><p><span>Chapter One<span>

Harry James Potter strode through the crumbling hallway, his back straight and his eyes pointed directly ahead, his knees were weak and his head felt like it was going to explode. But he was the saviour, the big 'hero', he couldn't show an ounce of weakness to these broken people who had lost pretty much everything – for him, he must seem brave, he must not break. His only real relief at that moment was that Tom Riddle was dead, it had almost killed him, but he'd completed his destiny. He'd done what he was born to do, and it felt surreal, what was he supposed to do now? In the past seven years of his short life not for one minute had he let himself think of a future, how could he have a future when there was a price over his head, how could he become close to someone or become a true part of a family, when one day he would either be snatched away from them or be the cause of their untimely deaths? He could feel a thousand pairs of hungry eyes resting on him and as he opened the double doors to the Great Hall and as he climbed the damaged stairs to the main table the steady buzz of voices faded and every single person, elf and animal in the room held their breaths, awaiting the words of the boy who lived, multiple times.

Harry opened his mouth then took a deep breath, 'I don't know what to say,' he stuttered, words feeling unreal in his mouth, 'but I know that I'd like to apologise, to each and every man, woman and child in this room that had to witness the horrors of not only tonight, or yesterday, but of the past seven years. I cannot begin to explain how much pain it brings me to think that because of me, hundreds, no, thousands of people have been made to suffer, the world over. But I thank you, all of you for seeing the need for love over these barren, hate-filled years and for standing true and letting the right win out over the wrong in this world.' He paused for breath and wiped a few stray tears from his face, tears that he hadn't allowed to fall for so very long, the tears of a scared young boy whose parents had died and was lost in a scary new world. 'I can never begin to express how much I will miss the people I have lost, my parents, my god-father, the young parents, Remus and Tonks, Fred Weasley, one of the most amazing people I know, Colin Creevey, a young man of incredible bravery, Cedric Diggory, true until his last moment, Dobby the house elf,' his voice broke, 'the best free house elf, Albus Dumbledore, the only man Tom Riddle ever feared and every single other life that was lost in reaching our final goal. I ask you to remember your loved ones, not with grief and despair, but with love and respect. Thank you for your time.' He ended, feeling rather ridiculous that he couldn't come up with a better way to sum up his speech of sorts. He rested his eyes firmly on the floor and descended into the crowd, which was buzzing with whispers and cheers of approval to what he had said.

He looked up as he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw a red-headed, well there was no words to describe her, she was angel, flying towards him. 'Harry!' she yelled 'Oh Harry, we were so worried, I was so worried, we didn't know, we thought you'd died, but, you've done it, oh Harry, I couldn't have lived with myself if you'd died, I'm so glad you're ok!' she babbled, wrapping her thin ivory arms around his shoulders.

'Ginny, I've missed you so much.' He breathed in her ear; even now a year since their last kiss it sent shivers down her spine. 'I can't even begin to say how sorry I am, Fred-'

'Fred died.' She completed, 'I know, I saw it, my own brother.' She clutched to him. 'Harry, even though he's gone, I can't blame you, it was Fred's choice to fight, not one of us had the power to control him, if we'd told the twins to leave, maybe you would have died, and I know that not one of my family would have wanted that, you had to kill him, V-Voldemort.' She stuttered, her voice shaking with the obvious pain to her words. 'We do NOT blame you Harry.'

She stopped talking as they were joined by Ron and Hermione, both of them looking exhausted. 'Harry,' breathed Hermione, 'what you said up there, it was perfect. I don't know how you did it but every single person in this room was captivated. You're a born leader.' She embraced his tightly and whispered in his ear 'What I said in first year, I meant it. You're a great wizard Harry.'

Harry laughed, his first true laugh in what felt like forever, 'I couldn't have done it without you 'Mione, or you Ron.' He said, clasping his best friend's shoulder tightly.

Ron's ears grew red and the four of them laughed, almost like they had before Dumbledore had died. 'Harry mate, look at me,' Ron said, 'I know you're going to say it's your fault, but I also know my mum's gunna kick our arses for scaring her silly like we have for the past year and I know you and Ginny are gunna get back together and I know we'll miss Fred like hell, so before you decide to get all soppy on us, remember, we won.' This was amazingly insightful for Ron and the others stared open mouthed.

'Jesus Christ Ronald,' Hermione managed, 'when did you become so insightful?' she laughed.

'The day I walked away from you two and realised that I'd quite possibly lost the most special thing to ever walk into my life.' He shot back to her, before gently kissing her.

Ginny looked on awkwardly, then took Harry's hand, 'shall we go see mum?' she whispered, her beautiful brown eyes glinting at him, she was just as amused by Ron's little outburst as Harry and together they snuck away, leaving the newly formed couple to get, _acquainted_.

When Mrs Weasley saw Harry she broke out of her husband's arms and ran towards him, enveloping him in one of her motherly cuddles, babbling like Ginny had been, 'oh Harry, you silly, silly boy, you have no need to be sorry about this war, our Freddie-' her voice cracked with emotion but she continued 'our Freddie died tonight in the aim of one thing, putting an end to what that vile, vile man was doing to our world, it. Was. Not. Your. Fault.'

'Mrs Weasley,' Harry moaned, before breaking into sobs in this woman's shoulder, the only woman he'd ever know to be a mother.

Mr Weasley stood and wrapped his arms around his wife and his seventh son, Harry Potter had been a part of their family since the day his wife had seen the lost little boy standing on platform nine and three quarters alone all those years ago. Arthur Weasley thought hard as he hugged these members of his family, He had just lost a son and the pain of it was so close to the surface that every second he felt as though it might explode and he would lose it, but when he looked at Harry, he realised that this boy, so young and tender had experienced more loss, more pain and more torture than any other person he knew. This young man, his son, needed him to be there, Harry needed a family to love him, to treasure him, and more than anything else to help him heal and become the amazing man he would surely be. 'Harry, you are our son and we love you, we need you to know that.' Said Mr Weasley, gaining himself a massive kiss from his only daughter and a shocked, open mouthed look from Harry.

Harry shook slightly then looked straight into the eyes of the Weasleys, 'I love you.' He said.

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><p>lots of love!<p>

Eek, if anyone's come this far and is reading this it means you've read my first chapter! Thank you, please leave any feedback – good or bad and hopefully you'll get another update soon, I'm in the mood to write stories :3


	2. Chapter Two

Hey my one reviewer! and possibly (I hope so!) an invisible reader or two :)  
>here's another chapter, a short one I must say, but anyways, enjoy 3<p>

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><p><span>Chapter Two<span>

The next day was the funerals, Harry felt like an outsider even thinking about them, he knew that there were people that blamed him, even though no-one would admit it to him. Standing in the shower cubicle in the old seventh year dorm in which he would have been staying that year if he hadn't had to go out and kill the most dangerous man the world had ever seen, Harry leant his palms on the hard tiled walls and let the soothing water fall over his bruised and scarred muscles. The pain he felt even with moving was intense, almost irrationally so. The mark on his chest was by far the worst, just over his sternum lay a black and yellow bruise that had blossomed to cover most of his chest and burned to the touch. Even the healing spells Hermione had tried had done nothing, he was worried that the mark would be with him forever, a constant reminder of the pain that comes with victory.

Stepping out of the shower he ran his hand through the raven mess on his head, breathing deeply he laughed at his reflection in the mirror, 'Hardly the face of a hero,' he spat at his grimacing reflection 'you're a mess Potter, sort it.' Harshly, he span away from the mirror and fumbled amongst the fresh pile of clothes he had been given by Kreacher for something that could be classed as suitable for the sixty-odd funerals he had to attend that day. Personally, he felt that having the funerals at Hogwarts was a good idea, at least the dead would be honoured forever for protecting the school in their final hours, but it wasn't his place to say anything, it had been hard enough comforting his beautiful Ginny through his own grief, never mind making another hugely public speech.

The robes he picked were dark, black and simple, he wore a white shirt underneath and pair of what he would have previously called 'school pants', somehow dressing simply made him feel that perhaps, he would fade into the background and that he'd be allowed to mourn just as anyone else would be. He just wanted to be Harry, not the boy-who-fucking-lived.

Finally collecting his pride he held his head high and descended the stairs of the Gryffindor tower, breathing deeply and watching his steps, fearful of rolling into the common room and making even more of an ass of himself than he already felt. Then, he stopped in the doorway, enthralled by the fire-headed enchantress that stood before him. 'Ginny,' He breathed, wrapping his arms around her slim figure and taking a lungful of her perfect scent.

'Harry!' She smiled, 'I was just coming to get you, we're going to have to make our way down to the grounds soon, they're beginning with a service to honour everyone that fought, the living too.' she was chocking slightly and he eyes were filled with fear as she returned his hug, so vigorously that she even shocked herself. 'By the way Harry, I'm so glad you're here, even just that fact that you're coming to the funerals means so much to every family, to every person here, thank you.' She said quietly before walking over to where the Weasleys were sitting on one of the squishy sofa sets in the common room, taking her mother's hand and beckoning him over.  
>'Harry,' Mr Weasley said, smiling through his obvious despair, 'please feel welcome to attend the funerals today with our family, after all, you are a big part of us and we really do count you as our son.'<br>Harry exhaled a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, 'Mr Weasley, I would love to attend with you all, I couldn't pick a better family to call my own.'  
>Mrs Weasley stood up and enveloped Harry in one of her motherly hugs that drained him of all his fears of not being accepted. Just being pressed into her chest like a baby to their mother made him feel loved, happy and more content than he had ever felt, except perhaps for when he was with Ginny. 'We'll have to be leaving now though m'dears,' she said, 'wouldn't want to be late.'<p>

With that, the Weasleys and their honorary members, Hermione and Harry, quietly made their way down the grounds, each individually content to be silent in their own thoughts of their loved and lost, primarily their fallen brother and son, Fred.

When they reached the field above Hagrid's cabin where the service was going to be, Mrs Weasley stopped and stood, looking down towards the Forbidden Forest, she looked thoughtful for a moment, then turned to her family, who had paused too, worried about why she had paused in such a place. She opened her mouth to speak then closed it again, pausing again for thought. When she eventually spoke, the emotion in her voice was something that no one in that field had ever heard, even Arthur, her husband of so many years was shocked by the words she spoke. 'How can it be so beautiful?' She asked, indicating toward the bright sunshine breaking over the canopy of trees before her, 'when so many have had to leave us, when the aftermath of what that vile man did will haunt us forever? How is beauty justified when so much evil still lives on in this world?'

The silence after her words was bottomless for what felt like hours, days, forever, before Arthur made his move, he moved so he was facing his wife, the wife that even broken with grief was still the most beautiful thing he had ever set his eyes upon, and with one of his hands he took hers, tilting her head to face him with the other. He took a deep breath and then spoke, 'Molly, it's because of love.'

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><p>Sorry it's so short, but i felt this had to be said before i came to the massive issue of saying goodbye to the dead, i could only imaging Molly Weasley coping the worst with the deaths after the books and i just needed to have a little bit of Molly and Arthur's relationship in here :)<p>

thank you for reading, i appreciate ALL feedback, good or bad!

Becca x


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